15/08/12

15/08/12 

Good Morning Asia!!!! How are you all this morning? salaam alaykum, I'm in Asian mode cos I checked my blog statistics last night and it turns out that most of my readership is by those of the Orient. Orientalism is fundamentally a political doctrine willed over the Orient because they were weaker than the West. Although this has shifted now to third world places such as Africa. This collides with a more modern stance to explai what Etienne Balibar had called 'Orientalism' which was in a thought up in a time when Britain had a huge number of colonies. Strange however that so many of these countries which had campaigned for independence seem to be now in the midst of post-colonialism where essentially the peoples of previously colonised nations decide to return to Britain because they hold a belief that life will be better here than it was was where they came from. Which in most cases I assume is the case. I have no problem with immigration really. Taking care of 'our own' seems stupid and outdated and now because benefits have gone ridiculous and there are people that don't work and just bleed the system dry. I'd rather have people come over that are happy to work and will try hard to better themselves rather than those shits that just live off benefits when they don't need them, sit around, pull their bar, binge drink, beat their kids and wife and take drugs. Admittedly Britain may still be great and generally better than it has been in the past and the Jubilee and Olympics that were 2 things that were great for the country this year, a stark contrast from the riots last year. Despite the complaints I have been making in this blog, the more I think about my own life and I'm thinking, where is 'Broken Britain' David? Because right now I can't see it. But in fairness I don't live in Moss Side. Anyway, I hope you all have had a great Wednesday. Peace and Love

14/08/12

14/08/12

Sorry its been a while guys, it's only because I was away this weekend at a meeting for my trip to Indonesia this coming Sunday! And then I went to the Saturday and Sunday of a Christian festival called 'Detling' because that's the village where it's based. Although some people just simply call it 'Godfest'. A reason why my blog is slacking a bit is because either Crazy Martin has either died, got a car, or changed his working hours. Or he's just been fired again. I've realised that when you pull into the airport, in oe of the walls with the grooves there is what appears to be a tteabag that someone has thrown at the wall and it's got stuck. This isn't a new thing either. It's probably been there  since before I started work I just not have noticed it. It has reminded me however of what 45% of my working day today will involve, tea. How can these people even drink so much tea?! They'll happily have a coffee from Costa and then want a tea immediately after, Isn't one hot drink enough for you people?? Guy I'm opposite on the train today looks like Toad of Toad Hall, except in a pin-stripe suit. I'm not sure if thats meant to be hyphenated. Oh well I'll roll with it. #roomforlife. Frank is coming on Thursday so it all has to be bang on. Poo Thursday is results day as well. My entire life boiils down to Thursday, I'm not goin Uni so it's not as important as it is for some people but I don't know how long I've spent in education but it seems like a long time so it all comes down to this. BBC would be great for me I think. Bombay. Anyway I'm one stop away from work, kraftwerk, so it's time for me to sign off. Robots, Autobahn, Fathers of modern electro, greatness.   

08/08/12

08/08/12

Again I'm on the train with no cash, kind of sorted out how to not get caught now but it's never an exact science. Therefore placing myself at this side of the train with the ticket guard closest to me is an extremely dangerous strategy as there is a large chance that he may want to check my ticket (which of course doesn't exist). I know I mentioned this last time but I'm just so pleased with my discovery. I am a train king. YESTERDAYS TRAMP ISN'T A TRAMP!!! Just seen him getting on the train and he has a new outfit on. Well not a new outfit. Just new compared to that old disgusting fake burberry woollen fleece he usually wears. Now this is where my plan of where to sit on the train really comes. Because I've been at the end with the ticket guard, the train switches round at Manchester airport. So that I'm at the end with the train driver. Genius. 

07/08/12

07/08/12

I'm going to try and tell you today about my weekend. On Friday I went rock-climbing with my friend Haider. He's new to it and I practically was considering that I've lost my climbing shoes and all my gear. It was my first time back in about a year and it showed. Crazy Martin isn't on the train again, I hope its just that he got a car and not that he's been taken ill, not because I actually like him deep-down but rather because I don't want to be writing a blog about a man who isn't well. That's not cool. I have a new character to write about today though. There's another man who gets my train with hair that looks like it has potential to be Richard Branson-esque were he to wash it at some point. He has eyes that look like they've been open far too long, but I don't think that is because of choice but rather that they have been kept open by something. He has skin that is so red naturally that is appears to have the potential to burst if he ever broke into a sprint. But I suppose that's why he's on the train. I hope I never see him running for the train and subsequently witness his head pop. I think he's a tramp. But it's hard to say because I've never herd him speak and I only have to go on the fact that he always wears the same outfit, but so does my mate Alex and he lives in a house. I'm at Styal train station now. My sister works here and the work she does is really good and pretty flipping impressive. The ticket guard also just checked everyones ticket in my vicinity except mine. See there are other perks to blogging other than just giving me an excuse not to talk to people. Don't get me wrong I like talking to people, so long as they aren't weird, not funny, hard to look at or anything else unpleasant. Unless they have a funny voice, in which case all of the above are void. Oh my goodness the hot air vents under the seats just came on and it felt like the tramp had started playing footsy with me. Wow that's a load off my mind because it isn't PHEW, and that hot air is divine. But for now I'm one stop away so I'll have to sign off now. Peace and Love x

06/08/12

06/08/12

I'm starting to worry about Crazy Martin, he wasn't on the train end of last week and isn't on it again now! 

03/08/12

03/08/12

Friday at last thank goodness. I'm sat at East Didsbury train station at the minute. About 15 minutes early for the train but I wasn't going to have a repeat of yesterday! The lady sat next me is definitely going to Alderley, how could I know that? 2 reasons, one is that she looks like she's had enough botox to feed a small African village, if they could eat botox... what even is botox? It's not ladies bums is it? Oh well, I don't do biology. The second reason is that its the Alderley Edge train. I am also relatively certain that trains do not need drivers. I think they'd benefit from a system where you just plug it in and say where it has to go and then let it do its own thing. My Mum and Dad got home yesterday afternoon and had left me alone in the house for the first time in a very long time as I have broken the trust in the past but I'm proud to declare that it has been restored.Oh well, that's all water under the bridge now. Or in my case, that's all garlc bread on the walls "BRING ON THE WALL!!" My sunglasses still haven't been delivered. I really want to go hula bar tonight, not been in ages and its the best, and is especially great for big Alex Brrown's birthday. Quality night despite the fact that he proceeded to ruin it. Not for himself but me. But he did pull a weiird small chinese girl apparently "WHENYOULEAVE?".

I'm positive that blogs aren't really for the purposes of describing ones own life experiences in as little detail as possible so I will try to think of an intellectual subject and shall then proceed to write about my views on it. even though I can't expect that anyone with half an opinion of their own will really care in the slightest.  

I've nearly finished my train journey now though so the deep and meaningful blogs will have to commence later today or tomorrow. Please also note now that anything I say on here is not affiliated with the company I work for and  as they come straight from my head to paper I very well may be wrong in what I'm saying and if it's ever religious spiel I cannot guarantee that it will align perfectly with biblical teachings or the teachings of any other religious but I'll probably be pretty close. Speak again once I have something to say. Peace and Love x

Hello again, I'm on the train home now, such a long day I can't believe it. Spent the morning being a grumpy bastard  cos Luke didn't like my shirt and we had a little argument then allowed each other to punch the others arms. Could scarcely believe I was in a proper working environment. It felt like year 8 again but this time I was getting paid for it and then the afternoon came and my sunglasses arrived, the sun came out and the whole afternoon picked up. I just got a call off Haider asking me if I fancy going climbing. I'm not that keen on goin now cos I'm so tired but it'll be great both to see him and to go climbing again after such a long time! No doubt in my mind that I'll be a lot worse than I was last time I went, never really reached that peak again tho since I broke my arm which is disappointing. We're just pulling into Manchester Airport now which is the most annoying thing about getting the train home because it always takes an absolute age before it leaves. Crazy Martin in doing his daily ritual of rubbing between his thighs and biting the backs of his eczema-ridden hands and in between his fingers, whilst the scarring on his face is staring at me with always as much intensity as his actual eyes. You may all imagine Crazy Martin to be an old man but he isn't behind the bags under his eyes and eyebrows that are so thick that the idea of plucking them must seem a very distant memory I do think that Crazy Martin is about 42-45 years old. I also really don't like him because he comes out with such nonsense and as James Jr says "never bullshit a bullshitter, and I am a bullshitter" and the same principle applies here. He told me when I asked him last weekend what he'd been up to he replied by telling me that he went for a pint on the friday at around 7 and didn't end up getting home until the Sunday evening. Which is utter nonsense because he has kids and a wife, no chance Mrs Crazy Martin would permit such a wild partying from a well respected family man, minus the well respected. I hate vulnerability. I hate when you open yourself up to someone and although you know it won't be reciprocal you look like a twat cos you'll just keep trying. Finally left Manchester Airport! Champion! I love listening to the 'Drive' soundtrack on the way home because it is real motion music and I feel so sick when I listen to it. The main reason is though that it reminds me of Ryan Gosling who is just really cool. That idea I had this morning that I'd try and blog about topical things really didn't pull off. Right, one stop until home. time for me to sign off for the day and start enjoying my short time to myself. again, Peace and Love x (by the way I'm going to start trying to make 'Peace and Love x' my new blog thing. Just a bit of a test run today tho really...) Peace and Love x

Evening 02/08-/12

Very quickly, just to inform you that my Mum has told me to change the name of my train 'friend' in case he ever sees it and flips out because I told her that he bites himself and has crazy eyes and scars on his face. So from now on sadly he shall be know as 'Crazy Martin'. Because I love Martin Kemp from Spandau Ballet and Eastenders, I met him once actually, at the ice-rink. He was crazy, violent and rude as well actually.

02/08/12

02/08/12

Good morning blog. I'm not with Crazy Martin this morning but strangely thats not my own decision. I let public transport dictate that decision for me! I always get the bus to the train at 20 to 8 but today it didnt come so I had to sprint and now I'm sweating and stinking out the bus I've had to get making it smell like Luke Scott's car. On the plus side, on this route I get to drive past the houses of some of my favourite childhood/early adult life friends. I'm talking about people like Jake, Joe, Haider, The Webbs. I think you know someone is close when you can sort of not see them for ages and then when you do see them you just pick off exactly where you left off. I am however also driving past a house at the minute that reminds me of something unpleasant but we won't get into that. Oh and Harriette H's!! I remember when Roy was in there and threw up and had a bit of chicken hanging off his chin, brutal! This summer me and my Dad invested in an album entitled something along the lines of "Greatest American Driving songs" or some such nonsense but it was a fantastic album, and it was on that drive down to Devon that I really listened to 'America' by Simon & Garfunkel and it was really top draw. The lyrics are so vivid and true that you totally understand how Paul Simon feels about Kathy. Schimzen I have a feeling I'll be pretty darn late for work today! It's just so much more irritating when I think about how it wasn't my fault and that it was totally unavoidable. Only way it could have been avoided would have been if I'd left at half past but that seemed ludicrous considering I thought I was getting a bus! This journey and Crazy Martin must constitute conclusive proof that I do need to learn to drive as soon as possible. I have my second lesson next Monday. Don't even have any deodorant with me and I'm sweating my back out over here. Bare in mind it's not as bad as Will or Sweeney. Don't understand how you could possibly sweat through an american apparel hoody in the middle of winter! Madness. This week is going pretty fast all things considered, get to go to a stag do this weekend for the first time since I started being a 'man' (I put that in inverted not because I might not be a man, but because the guys at work call me 'kid' or 'ki' cos they're Irish). I'm baffled and bemused at the fact that I left my house at 7.38 and am still not at work, that was an HOUR ago, AN HOUR! Where even am I, I think I'm in a council estate designated for Chinese people that have probably been told this is London and to enjoy the Olympics. I must say however that I have been loving the Olympics, never been the best at any sports really but I love seeing really talented athletes like Michael Phelps, Beth Tweddle and Bradley Wiggins I say Beth Tweddle because her routine on bars is just the sickest thing going. Anyway I'll leave you there and will hopefully tell you about my day on the train home or if I can't then definitely tomorrow morning when I'll hopefully be on the train.

01/08/12

01/08/12

Hello, I've decided to start writing this because I'm sat opposite my train 'friend' Crazy Martin and I hate him. He's touching his crotch at the minute and biting himself and we're sat at the airport. Today at work I started off with not much to do but with Rory back off his holidays I was quickly swamped! But its 10 past 6 at the minute and I'm sat in Manchester Airport on my train which takes flipping ages! I much prefer getting a lift with Luke, although he is an absolute mentalist, properly mad but hilarious. Sometimes when we started working together I'd be doing something on my laptop and look up to just see that he's been sat there for the last 10 minutes with his middle finger up to me or rubbing his nipples. However its now become more of a sort of game where we play to see who can swear at who without the other seeing so sometimes I'll walk out the loo for example and just see that He's been stood there with his middle finger at the door. James Jr has started to stop calling me 'scrotum' as much as he did when we started. Francis got back this week from his holiday in Cyprus which is coincidentally according to my Nanan the reason for why I tan so easily because although my Grandpa wasn't always incredibly bronzed, he spent an awfully long time in Cyprus with the RAF and since then he just tans like a madman and so do I and my Mum. I like listening to music when I'm travelling, I think thats the main reason why I hate Crazy Martin so much cos he tries to talk to me and make me laugh... that and the fact that he has crazy eyes and likes to bite his eczema and eat it, disgusting. I think there's something very therapeutic about listening to music so loudly that you drown out the stresses of the day for thirty minutes in the morning and evening. Probably could be doing something more productive with my time but I guess I just sometimes prefer a chill with bon iver or to kick it with something more upbeat. I just saw a plane flying SO LOW. Pretty sure it was easyjet. The other day Pat who I work with asked me what my day was consisting of and I replied, "just a few things all at once" and we both concurred that that is what causes stress we think. Because you can go on holiday or have a day off but that just means that when you come back you can definitely count on there being a few things that will come all at once and you can plan for them but theres very little chance that you'll be able to avoid there being stress because of it. I am just assuming this from other people that I see however because I am certainly not stressed. I like those days when you're able to reflect and just think about how good you have it. I'm sure I'll have a lot of those days when I'm in Indonesia teaching orphans English this summer. Anywho Fix Up Look Sharp has just come on and we're nearly at my station. Probably see you tomorrow unless Luke gives me a lift and farts in the car and hot-boxes it again. Yesterdays car journey smelt that a rotting pigeon being eaten by a slightly larger pigeon. You wouldn't last an hour in my shoe.